Author and comedian, Tranea Prosser shares her personal testimony in her new book “Celibacy, What Was I Thinking?” The year 2009 was my hardest time dealing with my celibacy. I say that because I took time and dealt with it. I was beginning to feel like I was unlovable, not pretty enough, too heavy, just all that stuff. I started to feel like God didn’t want me to have anybody and I wanted a reason why. I had been faithfully praying for a spouse for more than 10 years. My kids were out of the house, I felt I was still in my prime so where was this man? Even one of my girlfriends told me she asked God why he hadn’t delivered my spouse! Thanks Mimi!
I had developed a wonderful platonic friendship with a younger man and he was a blessing in my life for four years. It was insightful to get a Christian man’s point of view on several things because he was praying for a mate also. But that was not the only thing we had in common. We just enjoyed each other’s company, he made me belly laugh! So why didn’t we hook up? He was 10 years younger than I and I felt that he should have the opportunity to have a family because I did not want any babies and I loved him enough to not want to deprive him.
I had renewed hope for 10 seconds when a deacon from my church approached me. I thought we might could have a good time together because he was retired and widowed and I thought oh, day trips! NOT! He would not make a date for anything, he didn’t like to eat out, the only thing we had in common was church. I am too young for that. We were unequally yoked because our companionship would have needed a companion! Once I recognized that for what it was, I was disappointed. I started to get angry with God because I was keeping my body pure for what? Then the music ministry picked up again. I was so involved with learning how to lead Praise and Worship and learning songs, or doing comedy gigs, etc., The thought was moved to the back burner again.
Celibacy, What Was I Thinking?